Keeping Busy

One of my biggest struggles with anxiety/ fear/ distress, especially the irrational kinds- you know where you keep worrying endlessly about everything, even though it might not be a 'real' problem- is that I dont have enough on my hands. Time is a very precious commodity. Many of us live with the delusion that we will live a long life/ nothing unfortunate will befall us etc etc. I too have wasted endless weeks/ months/ years being happily delusional.

A few months back I was involved with a minor incident. It could have been quickly forgotten but it wasnt. It spiralled into months of having panic attacks and other unpleasant physiological symptoms. Sure I was praying. I was praying with all my might. But I forgot that I have just one life to live. Every passing day is just another memory. It wont come back. I dont get to re-live it. And I was wasting every day worrying, living in fear. The other persons also in this incident had moved on, continued to live their lives, and there was I suffering in silence from slef-defeat.

Not anymore, though. Over the last few weeks, I have taken my blogging more seriously. I am a freelance writer by profession. At the moment I do not have many projects to occupy me and so I have poured myself into this extremely satisfying (for me that is) outlet. I can keep at my writing. I can explore my writing style, trying new words and ideas. But most importantly, I have discovered many other blogs from women my age, living and doing what I'm planning on doing. And it's been so encouraging to me!!!! Im sure this is the Lord's way of guiding me and saying to me that I dont have to 'wait' for something to happen to me. I can always learn from those around me, even if they are strangers. Do you know what's the best thing that I've experienced? I've regained all my energy & drive to push for my dreams. They may seem lofty, but they are not impossible! Nothing is impossible with our God. Dreaming and praying have so much energy! But what has even more energy is action! Action. Acting on those dreams and prayers, taking the risks. Life may be full of disappointments, but again I say, nothing is impossible!!! This is my testimony, from one who longed to die, to now one who cant help but be grateful for being alive!

If you're having trouble with your mental health/ emotional well-being, I urge you to seek help. There is nothing wrong in getting help. Find a doctor/ psychiatrist/ pastor/ counsellor/ friend/ parent/ anyone. Last week at the Lentent Missions, the priest made a very significant point- God has created us in His image and likeness. So when we are like Him, can we not try for Him who died for us? This Lent, I urge you to try. Try something. Anything. Give it whatever energy you can. Do it for you, not b'cos you need someone else's approval. And I can assure you, He will meet you all the way!!!!